Jake has been back with me for two days. His dad will pick him up tomorrow at 1pm.
It was so nice to have him back home. Have some normalcy. Although I can not drive or play anything too vigorous, we enjoyed some simple things that just gave me the affirmation I needed that my son is doing ok. We played "Memory" and colored and watched Spongebob and ate our meals together and basically just enjoyed quality time. It was great.
He has helped me to keep my mind off of other things, although that 'other' thing is still in the back of my mind and is brought to the forefront each time he reaches out to hug me and it hurts, or I try to bend down to pick something up, or even simple tasks that cause the stitches to pull and cause me pain.
I am so friggin' scared about what is ahead. I am ok with more surgery now; I have been dealt this and will handle it. What scares me now is having it 'come back' later in life or....having more positive pathology results after the next surgery.
You see, I quickly had come to terms with having breast cancer and had said "I'm fine with having breast cancer, as long as it does not travel to any other part of my body" and now I'm thinking "Ok, one setback, I can handle it, but THEN there can't be any more." So, I fear there WILL be more. See where I'm coming from here?
Anyway, I think that losing the independence of driving has really affected me. But at the same time, I'm not sure I would have gone anywhere. lol
I guess that's it for tonight. I'm holding up and I'm just so happy to have my son, my family and so many wonderful friends checking in on me.
Tuesday I'll get the rest of the stitches and the drain removed and discuss the next surgery. I'll keep everyone posted.
Take care,
Doris
1 comment:
Doris, Some of my ramblings late at night. I wake up and I have to check your blog. You're always in my thoughts. I'm glad you have Jake for a while. You're right it is the simple things that are the most life-affirming. More surgery (sugary...there almost the same). You say you're ok with it now. I'm just getting used to it. I've been reading scads of info on DCIS, trying to become as knowledgable as possible. (Go ahead, ask me a question!). And then the not driving thing. I would love to chauffer you around. Truly!! Where do you want to go? But I warn ya, you might have to fight Big Boy (Briscoe) for shotgun because if you lose, you'll be getting dog slobber blowback when I take a hard right. I'm staying tuned for more news. Thanks so much again for caring enough to write. And say the magic words "Go Pats" and good things will happen...I promise. xxoo. Nora
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