Getting there...

...as in...getting closer to the last surgery. I get so anxious. Tommie said "You're a nervous person" lol! I can't help it. I'm facing new, scary stuff. I get shakey, sweaty palms, and irritable (yeah, bitchy).

Anyway, today I met Tracy - she is Dr. Hammond's nurse. She was very friendly and helpful. She showed me the 'infusion' area where I will go to have my treatments. I took some comfort in knowing I can bring my IPod and there are laptops available - music and internet access - it's all good ;-)

The hallway which leads to the infusion area is adorned with beautiful paintings, two of which were sunflower paintings. I took those beautiful flowers as another positive sign, as many of you know, I love sunflowers so much I have one tattooed on me. lol And if you didn't know that.....well....you do now! Anyway, when we were leaving from the appointment, we were told that the paintings were done by patients. Made them even more beautiful to be honest with you.

Dr. Hammond was as warm and kind as ever. I feel very safe with him and confident in his knowledge and experience.

So....let's see.....my "teaching" with Tracy will be March 14th. Then my first chemo treatment is scheduled for March 18th. Dr. Hammond gave me a prescription for a topical cream which I will need to apply to the skin over the port one hour before I go in for my treatments. It will numb the area so I'm not subjected to any unnecessary pain during treatments.

Treatments will be every 3 weeks....4 treatments. Yes, you're doing the math correctly, that is 3 months. Sometime after chemo treatments have started, I will be discussing hormone therapy with Dr. Hammond. He says the cancer cells were/are estrogen receptive and therefore will require hormone therapy. I asked him what this means for me and it was a one word reply that is still bouncing around in my head...."Menopause." After I regained composure, I said "That's crazy...I'm only 40 years old!" at which point he replied "It's a small price to pay to save your life." And of course, that shut me up.

So now it's nearly 3pm and this like so many other days has been a bit of a blur. I'm tired and emotional and....yeah...tired. Plus, I'm mad, and sad and scared. See, when we got to the Oncology offices, we had to sit in the waiting room where I saw women in various stages of hair loss. I kept my cool until we went into an exam room and then I lost it. "I see all of the those women with no hair and I know that I'm going to be one of them very soon!"

Breathe.....breathe.....breathe....I'll return later.
Doris