As time has passed I have thought "I need to make post #100 something special." I had no idea what I meant, or what my intentions were. I just thought....wow...I have shared 99 blog entries and I guess I think #100 should be special.
The thing is....it is Sunday late afternoon and I feel completely empowered at this moment. I feel I have regained much needed control over my life. I grocery shop every week with my son; I sleep well every night; I cook now and I'm not just a microwave queen. I take all my vitamins and supplements everyday and drink tons of water. Things happen in their own time. For me...the time has come to take control. This is a great feeling. A little scary? Hell yeah. But exciting and empowering as well.
Last week I dealt with a little bit of "Poor Little Ol' Me" Syndrome and revisited thoughts that I was never going to find a special man to share my life with. But ya' know what? It doesn't matter. A relationship will not define me. In fact, if I do find someone to open my heart to ever again he will have to be both very special and very lucky. Actually...one relationship will define me...being a mom. And I'm very proud of that definition.
The past 8 months (wow - I was about to type 7 and realized it is already August) I have learned a lot. I have learned about myself, my family, my friends, my job, my faith...virtually every aspect of my life has been affected by my January diagnosis. And now....the prospect of "Survivor" brings on a whole new set of thoughts, feelings, hopes and expectations. Am I going to go jump out of a plane or repel a massive mountain? Hell no, I'm not crazy. But I guess I'm starting to realize that I've been given a second chance. I need to embrace that.
Recently I have seen people and they ask "How are you doing?" and I say "Great! I feel great!" and the response is always "You LOOK great!" -- how cool is that? Very, very cool. It's a happiness I can't hide and a smile I can't hold back. It is a fresh new beginning.
Thank you for reading. There is a wonderful feeling that comes over me when someone says "I read your blog" and then the phrase will continue with some sort of question or positive remark and I am validated. People care. How lucky are we that we have friends and family to look to...to depend upon in our times of need? But here's the thing --- remember that your family and friends are there in time of happiness too. That is what I need to work on now. I need to reach out in good times...and I will.
Doris
No comments:
Post a Comment