Peaceful, quiet, calm....

or is it stressed, tired and depressed?

I don't know anymore. Or at least....at this moment.

Work is stressful and I am very physically and mentally tired. I had two meltdowns at work today - one in my boss's office. I hate that. But he handled it well. lol

Tonight is my last night with Jake for about a week. I am sooooo going to miss him. This makes me sad.

I have started a mental checklist of camping needs.....I'll start putting things on paper when I head to bed.

When my mom stopped over tonight one of the first things she said with great concern was 'Are you ok?' ---- I said "yes, just tired....maybe it's allergies" My sister called a little while later and said "everything ok?" and I said "yes, but I am exhausted...maybe it's allergies, but I have not feel THIS kind of exhaustion since last year.....during chemo"

Still looking forward to my mini vacation this weekend. Life is good. Some days it is just a little harder to see and feel it.

Doris

Sympathy pains.

My friend and co-worker Dawn is back at work. I stopped in to see her this morning. I will respect her privacy and not go into details, however the bruises on her arms from the many needles she has been stuck with are a painful and constant reminder of the battle she is facing.

I know these pains. I want to help. I'll just keep praying for her.

I am taking probably one of the biggest personal steps of my life. Some may find it to be no big deal, while others respond with great support and enthusiasm -- I am going camping by myself this weekend. I made the reservation for one night and I hope to be able to simply get away, breathe, relax...and do something on my own without depending on anyone else to get me there, get me set up, or get me to relax. This weekend is truly going to be - all about me!

Jake and I had an incredible 3 day holiday weekend. We were so busy that we both would be in bed asleep early each night. We had family quality time and fresh air and exercise and it was perfect. He is such an incredible little person!

My second visit with the Hypnotherapist did not seem to go as well. Don't get me wrong, I've not changed my mind about her, or about this type of "treatment." I just think it was more of an eye opener and I know I have a lot of work to do to improve my physical and mental well being. I did enjoy about 2 weeks without any binge eating and I do see myself making small steps to improve upon bad habits. The incredible momentum I experienced after the first session seemed to fizzle after the second session. I am trying to reach deep within my self to work through things, but this will take time. I did not get this way overnight - I will not come out of it overnight. I do know (finally) that I am a worthy person - and I am worth the effort.

I realize sometimes my entries are a bit cryptic, but I think that is my way of protecting myself from opening up too much.

I can say that I've had Jake for an extended stay while his dad and step mom are on vacation. I'm going to feel lost without him again. It is so nice having him around.

I think that's about it for now. Work is very stressful during this time of year but I'm trying to keep it in perspective.

I'll write soon.
Doris

Happy Friday

Ok so...I'm really glad I kept my blog title so simple = doris lachance's story. Because even though I began my story with a diagnosis of breast cancer, my story continues. I know I mentioned that the hypnotherapy experience was life changing. Well...I continue to feel that and am amazed by how I feel physically and emotionally.

I'm 42 years old and I'm finally learning who I am and growing emotionally. Life changing.

If you missed the documentary tonight on Farrah Fawcett, I hope you are able to watch it in the future. This show was so poignant and so genuine and so touching. God Bless Farrah Fawcett. She has fought an incredible fight.

Tomorrow I have a second hypnotherapy session. I'll update my blog over the weekend.

Please say a prayer for Dawn Baker - she will start her treatments for pancreatic cancer next week. Love ya' Dawn!!

Doris

Are you ready for this?

"When life hands you lemons...make lemonade!!!"
"Don't let the turkeys get you down!!!"

Yup..that's right...I'm learning the art of optimism. It is a great feeling. Very new to me, but that's ok - moving forward is empowering!

My weekend with Jake was phenomenal (btw..that's my new favorite word!). We had a lot of quality time and lots of fresh air and exercise. My Mother's Day was the best! My family got together at my mom's for the day. Jake requested that we "go to Grammy's early" - he likes being the first one to arrive and the last one to leave!! We got to my mom's at 10 a.m. and didn't leave until nearly 6 last night. We both slept like rocks last night!

My eating habits continue to change and improve since my hypnotherapy session. I am still not binge eating. I'm craving fresh strawberries - wild huh?? lol!!

That's it for today. I feel great. Mentally..physically...emotionally. Life is good.

Infidelity

I'm watching a fascinating 20/20 about infidelity. Fascinating. Validating. Very fascinating.

Not sure what to say.

Let's see....I went to a hypnotherapist on Saturday. This was indeed a life changing experience. Although I won't get into explicit details, I can say that this woman was able to help me address both new and old issues. One thing I am more then proud to speak of now was her ability to help me turn off the 'switch' in my head that was triggering binge eating.

Binge eating is something I have done privately since I met my first husband Eric. And this practice continued right up until Saturday. In addition, I have not had a migraine since Saturday. Connected? Not sure. Grateful? Beyond words!

That is why Weight Watchers and any other weight loss program have never worked for me in the long term. Eventually, the little demon in my head steers me to a binge of junk food. This binge leads to a feeling of guilt and disappointment in myself which then spirals in to quitting the weight loss program entirely because I don't feel "worthy." It is a huge step for me to even write about this in any detail. It is truly liberating.

I was a skeptic. I went to her thinking "I'm one of those people you can't hypnotize." Thank God I was wrong. This was a worthy investment in myself. The better person I can be for me, the better person I can be for those who need and depend on me.

I spoke with Sue (the Hypnotherapist) on the phone last night. She said she was proud of me and that I accomplished "a lot of work" in one session. I told her about not binge eating and she was thrilled. She explained to me that the binge eating was a learned process - a habit and that now it will take time to get used to the habit of NOT wanting to eat all the time.

During my session, Sue had me take control of longstanding issues by turning "switches" and "knobs" in the 'control room' of my mind. I know this may sound a bit weird. All I can say is....it worked. It worked...IT WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will keep you posted as this new journey of self discovery holds great promise for me and I want to share the experiences.

Doris

Please spread the word!

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