Sorry folks, but the pic I added to my blog is OLD. It's a picture I took after Dan moved out that I was going to add to a dating sight that I never joined. lol - but thanks for all the compliments!!!
Anyway, believe it or not my hair is getting long. Yay! But my color...eww...I don't like it. I mean...I like to have a little personality in my hair which is usually playing with the color. My stylist Tina won't let me color it this time - she strictly prohibits it and said "highlights only!" so I'll follow her rules :-)
Besides, of all the things on the extensive list that could have caused my cancer, coloring my hair is very close to the top.
Tomorrow I can head back to work. I've been down with bronchitis and a sinus infection. My doctor is awesome and the meds are working quickly to clear my lungs.
I took a hot shower and went out and picked up some groceries and I'm so proud of myself - I didn't deviate from the list and I didn't overspend. This economy sucks. No two ways about it.
Anyway, I guess that's it for now. My Arimidex should be here soon from my mail order prescription company. I started getting hot flashes about a week ago. And might I just say that if you've never experienced them......hot flashes are brutal.
My little man is 7 years old today - how cool is that????? Very!
Doris
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
My what a rollercoaster I ride!!!
I spent most of today in bed. It was ok. I needed it. I did not spend one single solitary moment this weekend feeling blue or sorry for myself or anything truly negative for that matter. Instead, I kinda' just....(dare I say it????)...lived. This weekend I was the 41 year old single mom whose son was gone with his dad and she was sick and took care of herself. Holy crap. Amazing.
So...Dan and Jenn got married yesterday. Again, I truly am happy for them because if they are happy, then Jake is happy and that is what truly matters in the broad spectrum.
I did do a bit of cleaning yesterday when I was feeling up to it. I love a clean home - it makes me feel accomplished. It is so easy for this place to get turned upside down between Jake and I. When Jake is not here I just kind of come and go and do my own thing and pay little or no attention to my surroundings. When Jake is here, I admittedly let him be a bit of a free spirit. I mean, he still has rules and guidelines and responsibilities, but I let him express himself and that tends to lead to a messy house!!! lol
What else to talk about? I'm not really sure. I'm just going with the flow tonight. The emotional rollercoaster has made a pit stop!!!
Doris
So...Dan and Jenn got married yesterday. Again, I truly am happy for them because if they are happy, then Jake is happy and that is what truly matters in the broad spectrum.
I did do a bit of cleaning yesterday when I was feeling up to it. I love a clean home - it makes me feel accomplished. It is so easy for this place to get turned upside down between Jake and I. When Jake is not here I just kind of come and go and do my own thing and pay little or no attention to my surroundings. When Jake is here, I admittedly let him be a bit of a free spirit. I mean, he still has rules and guidelines and responsibilities, but I let him express himself and that tends to lead to a messy house!!! lol
What else to talk about? I'm not really sure. I'm just going with the flow tonight. The emotional rollercoaster has made a pit stop!!!
Doris
Friday, October 24, 2008
I keep losing the focus.
That's my problem. I keep losing the focus on what is right, what is important and what is crucial to a happy, stable life.
It's after 10pm on Friday night. I have received emails from friends who keep up with my blog and they have offered their opinions, suggestions, love and support.
Tonight I am sitting here and I realize that I keep forgetting about me. Me, me, me. When someone new comes into my life, I focus on THEM. Instead, I should maintain the focus on myself and they should be a complement to my own existence. They should not...BECOME my existence. Sometimes though I think I find it easier to focus on others and try and help them through their trauma, drama, happiness and sadness to avoid facing my own. I'm 41 years old. I'm a mom. I'm a friend. I'm a sister. I'm an aunt. I'm a co-worker. I'm an employee. I'm a daughter. I'm a victim. I'm a statistic.
Today at work I essentially started coming down sick all over again. The sinuses are filled up, the chest is heavy with congestion. I am physically exhausted. Hmm...I wonder why? Yeah you got it...I lost my focus.
My little man turns 7 on Tuesday. My job is going really well. Get the focus back....just get the focus back.
Dr. Stenslie said that when reading my blog he sees the honesty. Well...this is me being me. Sometimes I open up to friends this intimately. Sometimes I hold it all inside. Sometimes I think I'm going nuts. Come to find out.....everyone has something they wish they could change, improve upon, begin, end or accept. I'm pretty normal and have just chosen to continue to use this blog as a means to express some thoughts and emotions and I pray to God that there is light at the end of this tunnel.
One of my dearest friends has just been given the same diagnosis I received last January - Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Please add Charlotte Mason and her family to your prayer list. I am so proud to call Charlotte my friend. We connected very quickly when we worked together and she is someone I have always been able to be myself with. Charlotte loves me for who I am. I love Charlotte for who she is. And now to the very long list of what she is, I will add "fighter" and in 2009 I know I will proudly call her a fellow "survivor." Charlotte stopped in to work today and checked in with everyone. As a result, I believe she received a great deal of love and support from her friends and former co-workers. I had made a sign that I have kept on my wall in my office since returning back to work after the first two surgeries -- "I fight like a girl" in pink letters with a pink ribbon. I took it down this morning and gave it to Charlotte. I hope it will give her a smile and a sense of empowerment in difficult times like it did for me.
People ask me if I participated in any of the Breast Cancer walks this year. My quick answer is "no" but the honest and more specific answer is this: It was too soon. Emotionally and physically I was not ready to join this incredible crowd of people all standing up against this sick disease. I'm putting in writing - right here and now - as a pledge to myself and to all of my family and friends that in 2009 I will be an active participant in AT LEAST one Breast Cancer walk in 2009. I'm thinking of building a "team" as well. So if you are up for some cardio in the coming year, keep this cause in mind.
I'm so excited to take Jake out this Halloween - with so many options, he still hasnt' decided on a costume, but I know he'll be the cutest ghoul out there!!
As always - thanks for checking in!!
Doris
It's after 10pm on Friday night. I have received emails from friends who keep up with my blog and they have offered their opinions, suggestions, love and support.
Tonight I am sitting here and I realize that I keep forgetting about me. Me, me, me. When someone new comes into my life, I focus on THEM. Instead, I should maintain the focus on myself and they should be a complement to my own existence. They should not...BECOME my existence. Sometimes though I think I find it easier to focus on others and try and help them through their trauma, drama, happiness and sadness to avoid facing my own. I'm 41 years old. I'm a mom. I'm a friend. I'm a sister. I'm an aunt. I'm a co-worker. I'm an employee. I'm a daughter. I'm a victim. I'm a statistic.
Today at work I essentially started coming down sick all over again. The sinuses are filled up, the chest is heavy with congestion. I am physically exhausted. Hmm...I wonder why? Yeah you got it...I lost my focus.
My little man turns 7 on Tuesday. My job is going really well. Get the focus back....just get the focus back.
Dr. Stenslie said that when reading my blog he sees the honesty. Well...this is me being me. Sometimes I open up to friends this intimately. Sometimes I hold it all inside. Sometimes I think I'm going nuts. Come to find out.....everyone has something they wish they could change, improve upon, begin, end or accept. I'm pretty normal and have just chosen to continue to use this blog as a means to express some thoughts and emotions and I pray to God that there is light at the end of this tunnel.
One of my dearest friends has just been given the same diagnosis I received last January - Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Please add Charlotte Mason and her family to your prayer list. I am so proud to call Charlotte my friend. We connected very quickly when we worked together and she is someone I have always been able to be myself with. Charlotte loves me for who I am. I love Charlotte for who she is. And now to the very long list of what she is, I will add "fighter" and in 2009 I know I will proudly call her a fellow "survivor." Charlotte stopped in to work today and checked in with everyone. As a result, I believe she received a great deal of love and support from her friends and former co-workers. I had made a sign that I have kept on my wall in my office since returning back to work after the first two surgeries -- "I fight like a girl" in pink letters with a pink ribbon. I took it down this morning and gave it to Charlotte. I hope it will give her a smile and a sense of empowerment in difficult times like it did for me.
People ask me if I participated in any of the Breast Cancer walks this year. My quick answer is "no" but the honest and more specific answer is this: It was too soon. Emotionally and physically I was not ready to join this incredible crowd of people all standing up against this sick disease. I'm putting in writing - right here and now - as a pledge to myself and to all of my family and friends that in 2009 I will be an active participant in AT LEAST one Breast Cancer walk in 2009. I'm thinking of building a "team" as well. So if you are up for some cardio in the coming year, keep this cause in mind.
I'm so excited to take Jake out this Halloween - with so many options, he still hasnt' decided on a costume, but I know he'll be the cutest ghoul out there!!
As always - thanks for checking in!!
Doris
Thursday, October 23, 2008
The next struggle.
I am writing tonight with a heavy heart. As I noted in my last entry, I have experienced some startling revelations over the past week and a half. I will NOT divulge details other then to say that I am experiencing "repressed memories" of abuse as a young child.
With that said, I have much more learning and growing to do. My friend "Joey" says that this revelation and the growth that will come from working through this will give me a 'new lease on life' - whatever the hell that means. I will try to use my blog to work through some of my struggles as I feel appropriate.
My ex-husband is remarrying on Saturday. All I will say is I wish them the very best.
Life moves fast and if you don't move with it you get left behind. I think I'm getting pretty tired of sitting on the bench and watching life blur past me.
I am tired...emotional...fighting off a cold...I am feeling very low. I saw Dr. Stenslie today and frankly, out of all that we discussed, the one thing that keeps coming to me is our discussion about "control." Sorry - not our discussion, because that suggests that I actually said something. Tonight was mostly me crying and him doing the talking. As a child control was taken from me. As an adult I have let that happen as well in different instances and different cases. Some how I need to learn to regain control.
At the same time, I will need to learn to let go of the past. "Joey's" quote next to his senior yearbook picture says "The past is the past, the future is what matters." Such wise words from someone who at the time was only 18 and is now 43 and dealing with his own demons.
Jake is with his dad for the next 5 days. I think I need some time to reflect. Please God...let this be last 'test' for me...I am becoming weary from the battles.
good night.
With that said, I have much more learning and growing to do. My friend "Joey" says that this revelation and the growth that will come from working through this will give me a 'new lease on life' - whatever the hell that means. I will try to use my blog to work through some of my struggles as I feel appropriate.
My ex-husband is remarrying on Saturday. All I will say is I wish them the very best.
Life moves fast and if you don't move with it you get left behind. I think I'm getting pretty tired of sitting on the bench and watching life blur past me.
I am tired...emotional...fighting off a cold...I am feeling very low. I saw Dr. Stenslie today and frankly, out of all that we discussed, the one thing that keeps coming to me is our discussion about "control." Sorry - not our discussion, because that suggests that I actually said something. Tonight was mostly me crying and him doing the talking. As a child control was taken from me. As an adult I have let that happen as well in different instances and different cases. Some how I need to learn to regain control.
At the same time, I will need to learn to let go of the past. "Joey's" quote next to his senior yearbook picture says "The past is the past, the future is what matters." Such wise words from someone who at the time was only 18 and is now 43 and dealing with his own demons.
Jake is with his dad for the next 5 days. I think I need some time to reflect. Please God...let this be last 'test' for me...I am becoming weary from the battles.
good night.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Treading lightly right now.
Some startling revelations have come my way in the past few days. I will not expand upon it right now except to say that I will be fine. It's not the cancer or anything, it's just some very personal stuff I need to deal with. As soon as some key people are made aware, then I will use this blog as a forum to help me. You have all been so supportive and I'm confident you will continue to be here for me.
Sorry to be so vague.
Enjoy the beautiful fall colors -- they are truly a gift from God.
Doris
Sorry to be so vague.
Enjoy the beautiful fall colors -- they are truly a gift from God.
Doris
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Life is about choices...
...yup, that's right. And I'm here to admit I've made a couple of bad choices. Let's see....I chose to eat bad food that led to me being overweight; I chose to neglect my cleaning duties and let my apartment become a disaster area; I chose to sleep a lot and function as a human being as little as possible which led to a vicious cycle of "not having a life."
Making conscious choices that are bad for you....that's detrimental to your body and your mind.
Taking control and ownership of those decisions puts YOU in control of life. Not vice-versa.
I want control and ownership of my mind and body. Prior to being diagnosed with cancer, I had relinquished control - I let myself go both physically and mentally and it was damaging. Then for 6 months the doctors took control. And now it's my turn. This will be a huge change but a necessary change in my life. But it's the simple things that will make huge improvements in the end. And I can do this. It won't be easy - but what is that saying about things worth having and not being easy or something? Anyway, today I ate some halloween candy - ok I binged. I feel lethargic and guilty. Those two 'feelings' will stay in my mind in the hopes that next time maybe I'll stop myself before I do. I can only hope.
My friend Lisa called me at home this week. I was so happy to hear from her. She is doing great. She's got some rehab and hard work ahead of her, but I have faith that she's going to be ok. She's a tough cookie and I'm so proud of her!
I think that's it for now. Thanks for checking in on me.
Doris
Making conscious choices that are bad for you....that's detrimental to your body and your mind.
Taking control and ownership of those decisions puts YOU in control of life. Not vice-versa.
I want control and ownership of my mind and body. Prior to being diagnosed with cancer, I had relinquished control - I let myself go both physically and mentally and it was damaging. Then for 6 months the doctors took control. And now it's my turn. This will be a huge change but a necessary change in my life. But it's the simple things that will make huge improvements in the end. And I can do this. It won't be easy - but what is that saying about things worth having and not being easy or something? Anyway, today I ate some halloween candy - ok I binged. I feel lethargic and guilty. Those two 'feelings' will stay in my mind in the hopes that next time maybe I'll stop myself before I do. I can only hope.
My friend Lisa called me at home this week. I was so happy to hear from her. She is doing great. She's got some rehab and hard work ahead of her, but I have faith that she's going to be ok. She's a tough cookie and I'm so proud of her!
I think that's it for now. Thanks for checking in on me.
Doris
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
So much to tell....
Hello out there --- I have a lot to share tonight. But first, I want everyone to check out the link to this blog: http://tappanfamilyandfriendstrust.blogspot.com/
Mr. Tappan was my English teacher at Oyster River Middle School. When he took a sabatical, all the students were given the opportunity to approach him and shake his hand and wish him well. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I was the only one - to my knowledge - that Mr. Tappan gave a hug to on that day. When Mr. Tappan returned to teaching, he was my English teacher at Oyster River High School.
Mr. Tappan taught me a great deal. Things that until this very moment I had not realized. Here I am, 41 years old, recognizing the incredible impact that this man - this teacher - had on my life. Mr. Tappan taught me that it's ok to be honest. It's ok to approach subjects that some may consider 'sensitive.' He taught me to appreciate reading. He taught me to....well....express myself. In all seriousness, Mr. Tappan rocks!!! So please visit his blog - he is a man of such great strength and courage. I am so blessed to have had him as a teacher.
Last night I saw my therapist - his name is Dr. Craig Stenslie. He's awesome. He's honest and he helps me to be honest with myself. So last night I literally walked in to his office and sat down and said "I don't really have anything (to discuss) tonight." Well....that lasted all of 15 seconds.
I learned (as usual) more about myself. More about....life. And yet again I learned that I'm not so crazy afterall. In fact....dare I say it?...I'm kinda' normal....
So...in order to get over the sense of 'loss' or 'disappointment' or 'regret' that I have with various aspects of my life, I need to improve upon my current existence and those negative feelings will wash away. Wow - that was pretty deep huh? And if I truly want to lead a healthier lifestyle and put nutrition and exercise in the forefront, then I need to be willing to love myself as is and realize that I am DESERVING of a better way of life.
I'm going to cancel my online Weight Watchers membership. I'm going to do this work on my own. I KNOW what I need to do --- eat less, eat better and get this body moving!!! I deserve better....my son deserves better. What more do I need to say?
I've been hanging out with an old friend whom I used to work with. I'm going to call him "Joey" only because I've never known a "Joey" in my life and it maintains a little privacy. Anyway, Joey and I do stuff together. It's awesome. A drive to the beach, dinner....the simplest things and I feel like a million bucks. We are strictly friends. But it is amazing how a few simple changes and just getting out of the apartment can make you feel like a new person. He is a kind, caring guy and he makes me laugh. What more could I ask for?
Did you know that I'm a procrastinator? Oh yeah....big time....so Craig (Dr. Stenslie) and I talked about that. I wanted to go with the theory that I am just lazy. He wanted to go with the theory that I avoid doing things because there is an emotional route or reason behind it. So guess what??? Yeah he's right. I told him that I wash my dishes but will let the silverware pile up in the sink until I have no spoons left to stir my coffee. Well...I guess (ok, I KNOW) I resent the fact that I am no longer in my 3 bedroom. 2 1/2 bath colonial with a dishwasher that used to take care of the tedious silverware for me and so....I avoid it.
All of the stuff from my storage unit STILL fills my mom's second bedroom and her sun porch. I NEED to weed through the stuff and have a yard sale and post stuff online to sell and minimize the junk and make some money at the same time. Well guess what? Yup....going through that stuff...it has memories attached to it that I sometimes am not strong enough to work through. But after going through the various stages of loss, I am finally at "acceptance" with my divorce. So it's time to get moving and get the stuff cleaned out and let mom have a little wiggle room back in her home!
I realized recently what my job lacks ---- it lacks completion of projects....it lacks 'goals and objectives.' Instead I trudge through (literally) a pile of paperwork everyday only to have more added the next day. There is no feeling of satisfaction for a job well done. There is no feeling of relief when a big project comes to fruition. It is paperwork day in and day out. What can be done about that? I'm not sure. Maybe some thought will come to mind.
The weekend --- did I tell you about the weekend???? CRAZY BUSY!!!! Saturday we headed up to the Fryeburg Fair. It was a long day and Jake and I were both exhausted, as was the rest of my family. Now let me back up for a moment and say that on Friday night I dropped my truck off at the Nissan dealership for a Saturday appointment to get my front passenger side seatbelt un-knotted (I'll explain in a second). So on the way home after the fair, I had to get dropped off at the dealership to pick up my truck. Sunday we headed to the corn maze in Lee (www.nhcornmaze.com) and then to Butternut Farm in Rochester for Apple Picking. I went to work on Monday exhausted from the busy weekend!
So about the seatbelt...a couple weeks ago on a Friday night on our way home Jake decided it might be fun to tie his sleeve of his jacket up in the seatbelt in front of him. When we got to the apartment and I discovered it, I told him we would deal with it later and that was it. Well...we ended up staying in all weekend and on Monday morning when we headed out for daycare, I discovered that the seatbelt fairies never arrived to miraculously untie the knot over the weekend. I tried to untie it. My mom tried to untie it. Jake tried to untie it. I had to cut the sleeve of his jacket in order to get it out of the knotted seatbelt. It was a heavy duty knot. ANYWAY....I was able to make the appointment for Saturday at the dealership to have them either fix it or replace it. They called while we were at the fair to let me know that the seatbelt was "all set." Which led me to believe they got the knot out.
So, we get to the dealership at like 4:10 p.m. so the Service Department was closed. A salesman saw me and asked if he could help and I told him I was there to pick up my truck. We walked over to the cashier station and he pulled out the paperwork and handed me my keys and a receipt and said "You're all set" at which point I looked at the receipt expecting to get hit for an hour of labor or something. And there it was...the most beautiful sight.... the receipt said "N/C" -- which translated means "No Charge"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked up at the salesman and said "Oh my God I'm going to cry. You guys take such good care of me!!" How cool is that? VERY COOL!
Ok...and last but not least...Monday night Joey and I went out for dinner. I took a shower before heading out and guess what??!!.....I styled my hair and I got to use hairspray baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! yahoooooooooo!!!!!!! Yup....I officially sort of have a hairstyle again!!!!! Life is good.
Thanks again for checking in. Please keep Ed and Pat Kelvington in your thoughts and prayers.
Doris
Mr. Tappan was my English teacher at Oyster River Middle School. When he took a sabatical, all the students were given the opportunity to approach him and shake his hand and wish him well. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I was the only one - to my knowledge - that Mr. Tappan gave a hug to on that day. When Mr. Tappan returned to teaching, he was my English teacher at Oyster River High School.
Mr. Tappan taught me a great deal. Things that until this very moment I had not realized. Here I am, 41 years old, recognizing the incredible impact that this man - this teacher - had on my life. Mr. Tappan taught me that it's ok to be honest. It's ok to approach subjects that some may consider 'sensitive.' He taught me to appreciate reading. He taught me to....well....express myself. In all seriousness, Mr. Tappan rocks!!! So please visit his blog - he is a man of such great strength and courage. I am so blessed to have had him as a teacher.
Last night I saw my therapist - his name is Dr. Craig Stenslie. He's awesome. He's honest and he helps me to be honest with myself. So last night I literally walked in to his office and sat down and said "I don't really have anything (to discuss) tonight." Well....that lasted all of 15 seconds.
I learned (as usual) more about myself. More about....life. And yet again I learned that I'm not so crazy afterall. In fact....dare I say it?...I'm kinda' normal....
So...in order to get over the sense of 'loss' or 'disappointment' or 'regret' that I have with various aspects of my life, I need to improve upon my current existence and those negative feelings will wash away. Wow - that was pretty deep huh? And if I truly want to lead a healthier lifestyle and put nutrition and exercise in the forefront, then I need to be willing to love myself as is and realize that I am DESERVING of a better way of life.
I'm going to cancel my online Weight Watchers membership. I'm going to do this work on my own. I KNOW what I need to do --- eat less, eat better and get this body moving!!! I deserve better....my son deserves better. What more do I need to say?
I've been hanging out with an old friend whom I used to work with. I'm going to call him "Joey" only because I've never known a "Joey" in my life and it maintains a little privacy. Anyway, Joey and I do stuff together. It's awesome. A drive to the beach, dinner....the simplest things and I feel like a million bucks. We are strictly friends. But it is amazing how a few simple changes and just getting out of the apartment can make you feel like a new person. He is a kind, caring guy and he makes me laugh. What more could I ask for?
Did you know that I'm a procrastinator? Oh yeah....big time....so Craig (Dr. Stenslie) and I talked about that. I wanted to go with the theory that I am just lazy. He wanted to go with the theory that I avoid doing things because there is an emotional route or reason behind it. So guess what??? Yeah he's right. I told him that I wash my dishes but will let the silverware pile up in the sink until I have no spoons left to stir my coffee. Well...I guess (ok, I KNOW) I resent the fact that I am no longer in my 3 bedroom. 2 1/2 bath colonial with a dishwasher that used to take care of the tedious silverware for me and so....I avoid it.
All of the stuff from my storage unit STILL fills my mom's second bedroom and her sun porch. I NEED to weed through the stuff and have a yard sale and post stuff online to sell and minimize the junk and make some money at the same time. Well guess what? Yup....going through that stuff...it has memories attached to it that I sometimes am not strong enough to work through. But after going through the various stages of loss, I am finally at "acceptance" with my divorce. So it's time to get moving and get the stuff cleaned out and let mom have a little wiggle room back in her home!
I realized recently what my job lacks ---- it lacks completion of projects....it lacks 'goals and objectives.' Instead I trudge through (literally) a pile of paperwork everyday only to have more added the next day. There is no feeling of satisfaction for a job well done. There is no feeling of relief when a big project comes to fruition. It is paperwork day in and day out. What can be done about that? I'm not sure. Maybe some thought will come to mind.
The weekend --- did I tell you about the weekend???? CRAZY BUSY!!!! Saturday we headed up to the Fryeburg Fair. It was a long day and Jake and I were both exhausted, as was the rest of my family. Now let me back up for a moment and say that on Friday night I dropped my truck off at the Nissan dealership for a Saturday appointment to get my front passenger side seatbelt un-knotted (I'll explain in a second). So on the way home after the fair, I had to get dropped off at the dealership to pick up my truck. Sunday we headed to the corn maze in Lee (www.nhcornmaze.com) and then to Butternut Farm in Rochester for Apple Picking. I went to work on Monday exhausted from the busy weekend!
So about the seatbelt...a couple weeks ago on a Friday night on our way home Jake decided it might be fun to tie his sleeve of his jacket up in the seatbelt in front of him. When we got to the apartment and I discovered it, I told him we would deal with it later and that was it. Well...we ended up staying in all weekend and on Monday morning when we headed out for daycare, I discovered that the seatbelt fairies never arrived to miraculously untie the knot over the weekend. I tried to untie it. My mom tried to untie it. Jake tried to untie it. I had to cut the sleeve of his jacket in order to get it out of the knotted seatbelt. It was a heavy duty knot. ANYWAY....I was able to make the appointment for Saturday at the dealership to have them either fix it or replace it. They called while we were at the fair to let me know that the seatbelt was "all set." Which led me to believe they got the knot out.
So, we get to the dealership at like 4:10 p.m. so the Service Department was closed. A salesman saw me and asked if he could help and I told him I was there to pick up my truck. We walked over to the cashier station and he pulled out the paperwork and handed me my keys and a receipt and said "You're all set" at which point I looked at the receipt expecting to get hit for an hour of labor or something. And there it was...the most beautiful sight.... the receipt said "N/C" -- which translated means "No Charge"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked up at the salesman and said "Oh my God I'm going to cry. You guys take such good care of me!!" How cool is that? VERY COOL!
Ok...and last but not least...Monday night Joey and I went out for dinner. I took a shower before heading out and guess what??!!.....I styled my hair and I got to use hairspray baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! yahoooooooooo!!!!!!! Yup....I officially sort of have a hairstyle again!!!!! Life is good.
Thanks again for checking in. Please keep Ed and Pat Kelvington in your thoughts and prayers.
Doris
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Got some work to do...
...I had a date last night. I was looking forward to it. Let's say that it was a nice meal, good conversation. And I realized....actually...he asked me if I was ready to start dating again and I said "No."
I need more ME time. More Jake and Mommy time. More....Doris without cancer time. More "time to get in some sort of healthy shape" time.
I will sit here tonight and confess that I have not followed Weight Watchers now for several weeks. I have been honest about all of this. It sucks. I have nothing to fear by losing the weight ---- but the pride of being able to say "I did it myself" as opposed to saying "I did Weight Watchers" would be monumental. I will get out of this little rut -- please bare with me!!! It is a common pattern for me, but this time I am not willing to accept defeat.
On 9/26 I had to go down to the kitchen at work for the first time this school year. I could feel Pat Larney's presence. I know he will always be around us. I miss him.
Honey Cascio got incredible news yesterday which - when I was told this morning - brought me to tears. Honey's treatments have resulted in her being cancer free. Thank you all so much for your support and prayers. Please continue to keep her and her family in your thoughts.
I would also like to add Ed and Pat Kelvington to your prayer lists. I work with Pat and her husband Ed has been battling cancer and it's related complications for some time now. He has good days and bad days - and Pat is a real trouper, but I know she is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. We need to pray to give her and Ed strength.
Thanks for checking in on me. It means the world to me that a handful of people still approach me and say "I read your blog --- how are you doing?" Very cool.
I guess that's it for now.
Jake is asleep so I'm heading to bed early. That is truly a blessing!!!
Doris
I need more ME time. More Jake and Mommy time. More....Doris without cancer time. More "time to get in some sort of healthy shape" time.
I will sit here tonight and confess that I have not followed Weight Watchers now for several weeks. I have been honest about all of this. It sucks. I have nothing to fear by losing the weight ---- but the pride of being able to say "I did it myself" as opposed to saying "I did Weight Watchers" would be monumental. I will get out of this little rut -- please bare with me!!! It is a common pattern for me, but this time I am not willing to accept defeat.
On 9/26 I had to go down to the kitchen at work for the first time this school year. I could feel Pat Larney's presence. I know he will always be around us. I miss him.
Honey Cascio got incredible news yesterday which - when I was told this morning - brought me to tears. Honey's treatments have resulted in her being cancer free. Thank you all so much for your support and prayers. Please continue to keep her and her family in your thoughts.
I would also like to add Ed and Pat Kelvington to your prayer lists. I work with Pat and her husband Ed has been battling cancer and it's related complications for some time now. He has good days and bad days - and Pat is a real trouper, but I know she is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. We need to pray to give her and Ed strength.
Thanks for checking in on me. It means the world to me that a handful of people still approach me and say "I read your blog --- how are you doing?" Very cool.
I guess that's it for now.
Jake is asleep so I'm heading to bed early. That is truly a blessing!!!
Doris
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