Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Post II today

Ya know...what happened to customer service? What happened to kindness? Concern? Consideration?

I am just annoyed.

Annoyed.

I want people to be nice. When people are nice, it makes others nice. When people look at you like "what the (*&^ do you want?"....it makes you want to punch them. lol

I'll get over it. No biggy. Breathing now.

Grumpy

Today's post is a copy and paste of an email I just sent a friend. Sorry for the language.

Hi - I got out of work, ran to Newington to get more bloodwork done and then to Dover to get a prescription that I didn't need because I already had it (nevermind) and then went to Payless to get Jake socks and they didn't have his size again. So to sum it up; the lab chick was on drugs; the drugstore misinformed me; the bitch at Payless wanted me to drive back over to the store later when their inventory was done.......this all just cemented my shit attitude for the day. Then I get to the intersection in Somersworth and there is this man all bundled up holding a "homeless, out of work" sign. I have seen him in Somersworth before and today I was able to pass him a couple of bucks and wish him luck. Now don't burst my bubble and tell me he's a scammer or druggy or whatever - I don't wanna hear it. I got to do something nice after being ugly all day. Know what I mean?

Monday, December 28, 2009

Annoyed

I really don't feel like getting in to it. Just know that I have been sick off and on since November and have been diagnosed with Mono. Went for a follow up at the ENT tonight and I'm getting my tonsils out in February. Really? I mean...really? Just one thing after another. I'm so discouraged with my life.

Enough whining for now.

Doris

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Sick again.

The week of Veteran's Day I had ear infections and a sinus infection. I got over it. Now it is all back in a big way. Can't remember being so sick. I'm totally wiped out. Tried going to work today, but my boss sent me home. Thank God. I got home and went straight back to bed. Right now I am sitting near the Christmas tree with a window open and enjoying the warm breeze. Sipping orange juice. It is December 3rd and it is 59 degrees outside.

I am very troubled lately. Not by my own issues, but those of others. I'm not the type to sit back and be quiet when someone is hurting. Divorce has a horrible ripple effect. It hurts many. And, (without selfish intentions), the couple who gets divorced has no idea how far away, or how nearby the ripples travel. How to help? How to make your love and support known? I don't know. How many times can you say "I'm here if you need to talk"? When do you inject your own opinions, thoughts and feelings and when do you step back.....let the ripples flow?

I was raised in a home where hugs were rare. It was also rare to hear "I love you" from a parent, nevermind from a sibling. I DO NOT WANT THAT CYCLE TO CONTINUE with my son or my neices and nephews. I think I've done a great job of ensuring that with Jake, but I don't know how it is for the rest of the family.

I've gotta get to bed. My ears hurt and my head is throbbing from coughing all day.

Thanks for checking in.
Doris

Monday, November 16, 2009

Yay me!

Saw Dr. Stenslie tonight - awesome session and I feel great about things.

Gotta get to bed.

Will write more soon.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Yucky

Ok so I came down sick on Saturday and I'm starting to get over it now. I'm out of work until Thursday. Sinus infection, double ear infections and a barking cough.

On top of that, Sunday night I missed a step and took a very hard fall at the apartment. My left side is so bruised and I'm in a lot of pain. I feel like I'm 90.

I don't even feel like typing tonight. I can't think straight.

Life is what you make it. I need to make mine better. I wish I knew how to accomplish that.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Update

My friend Cindi pointed out today that I haven't blogged recently. Here I am; blogging :-)

My concern herein: On October 26th I saw Dr. Hammond, my Oncologist at Exeter Hospital. All blood work came back great. He was impressed with my reconstruction and said "Someone might be able to tell you've had surgery, but they will never guess you went through a mastectomy." These words were liberating to me. I had some validation that I in fact do look relatively normal now. This is awesome!

Back to my concern (yes, I know I digress) - I didn't blog about the appointment. I didn't even think to blog about it. Dare I say I've moved on from being convinced that each appointment may bring on another diagnosis of the "C" word to the opposite extreme of falling in to a false sense of security and thinking I am "in the clear" from here on? Lord only knows.

Moving on: Yahoo says we spend 5 years of our lives eating. Based on the severe (yes, 100's if not 1,000's of calories per setting) bingeing I have experienced the past three nights, I would have to add another year or two to my personal total. I do not know where this is coming from. I'm taking this problem day by day and trying to put each day behind me and hope that the next day will include less eating. I will work on this. I will fix it. I have to. There is no way in hell I'm going to re-gain the 20+ pounds which I have lost. Gotta regroup - gotta re-focus. Nothing tastes as good as being thin and healthy feels!

Got my little man back with me tonight. He was with his dad for 5 days and will now be with me for 5. Poor lil' guy has a case of the sniffles.

Ok I'm signing off for the night. As always, thank you for checking in on me.
Doris