Pensive.

I had a dental appointment yesterday - just a cleaning, but the hygienest checked my neck and throat and hesitated. I said "My lymp nodes are swollen" and she said "Yes...they are." I told her that since October I have been battling Strep, Mono, and Sinusitus. I also told her that I was seeing my Breast Cancer surgeon on Wednesday for a 6 month check up and that I was going to have her check them out.

This is a perfect example of fear. What if I go see Dr. Palladino tomorrow and she checks out the lymph nodes and something is wrong? What if??? Scares the hell out of me.

I internalize all of this stuff now. Which ends up turning in to a high level of stress and anxiety which makes me (quite frankly) a bitch at work. It is not intentional. It just all comes to the surface. Thank God for Xanax.

I feel like I have no one I can share this stuff with. I know that is not true; but I guess I would rather not dredge it all up.

Early to bed. Thanks for checking in. Say a prayer for me.

Doris