Phew!

I saw Dr. Palladino and I'm fine :-)

She understood my concerns and told me that she has never seen breast cancer travel in to the throat/neck lymph nodes. She said maybe the clavicle, but not higher. She also said that what I'm dealing with here is related to the mono for sure.

The breast exam went fine and she said everything is looking great.

I have been virtually obsessed with this for over a week - time to breathe and regroup.

Thanks for checking in on me,
Doris

Such is my life.

Dr. Palladino was called in to emergency surgery today so the office called me and cancelled my appointment.

As soon as I got the message, I called back and asked them how quickly I could get in to see her and told them my lymph nodes in my neck/throat are swollen. I started crying and the woman in Central Scheduling started to cry. She said "I am so sorry this happened today - we will get you in as soon as possible." So now I'm scheduled to see Dr. Palladino tomorrow at 2:30.

Is this swelling something residual from strep? Maybe. But I have a bad feeling about it. Then again - I am the eternal pessimist.

Having a glass of wine. Jake is in bed. Gotta Breathe.

p.s.
Please say a prayer for Pat and Ed K. They are having a tough time right now and need God's love and support right now.

Thank you,
Doris

Pensive.

I had a dental appointment yesterday - just a cleaning, but the hygienest checked my neck and throat and hesitated. I said "My lymp nodes are swollen" and she said "Yes...they are." I told her that since October I have been battling Strep, Mono, and Sinusitus. I also told her that I was seeing my Breast Cancer surgeon on Wednesday for a 6 month check up and that I was going to have her check them out.

This is a perfect example of fear. What if I go see Dr. Palladino tomorrow and she checks out the lymph nodes and something is wrong? What if??? Scares the hell out of me.

I internalize all of this stuff now. Which ends up turning in to a high level of stress and anxiety which makes me (quite frankly) a bitch at work. It is not intentional. It just all comes to the surface. Thank God for Xanax.

I feel like I have no one I can share this stuff with. I know that is not true; but I guess I would rather not dredge it all up.

Early to bed. Thanks for checking in. Say a prayer for me.

Doris

All clear!!

The quick update: Mammogram came out great!

Yay!!!!!

High Anxiety

I have my 6 month mammogram this afternoon.

2 years ago this week I was diagnosed.

Work was a bit nuts this week, combined with my high anxiety, it was not a good combination.

I took today off and right now I'm thinking about heading back to bed for a little while.

High anxiety...even panic attacks. Need to get out of the apartment a little this weekend and just live and breathe.

I'll update my blog later with my mammogram results.

Update

1. All my mono symptoms are coming back. I am seeing Dr. Knox at Northeast ENT on Friday afternoon. Frankly, I would be perfectly ok if he said "we're taking out your tonsils next week" - but I know that won't happen;

2. Mom is doing ok. If you read this and you know her, please drop her a card - she is a bit discouraged and can use the lift. Her address is 250 Littleworth Road, Madbury, NH 03823.

3. My brother Morris (Moe) was involved in a freak accident at home last Thursday. It resulted in him breaking 4 bones in his ankle and literally ripping a small bone right out of his foot. He had surgery yesterday and is on heavy pain meds. They had to insert some screws. Ouch.

4. Jake is allergic to Amoxicillin. He was on it for Strep and started getting red bumps all over him. He's doing much better now.

I think that's it for now. Oh - I've regained 10 of the 24lbs I lost on Jenny Craig. So sick of this cycle. When your addiction is to food.....how do you stop it? I don't know.

That's it for now. Thanks for checking in.

Doris

Happy New Year!

Wow so this is my 232nd post. It's New Year's Day and snow is expected.

My mom was admitted to Wentworth Douglas Hospital yesterday. All tests are coming back normal. She's having severe abdominal pain and is on morphine. I just spoke with her at 8a.m. and she sounds tired. There doesn't seem to be any intestinal blockage; her gallbladder is fine; as I said, all tests are coming back normal.

Jake gave me the best New Year's Eve gift last night. He awoke at 12:02 and called me in his room. He said "Has the clock struck midnight?" and I said "As a matter of fact, yes it has." and he gave me a big kiss on the cheek. What a kid!

He is feeling much better - I had to take him to Barrington Urgent Care on Wednesday night - he has strep. Seems to be one thing after another. We'll get by; we always do. Perserverance....yeah...that's it....lol