Side Effects

Sorry for the delay in updating this. I've been sleeping so much I forgot about it actually.

Ok, the tingling and numbness in my toes and feet is a side effect of the Taxotere, which is one of the two chemo meds I was getting (oh wow....I said WAS!!!!).

I talked with Tracy, Dr. Hammond's nurse and she advised that the side effects should wear off altogether within 6 to 8 weeks. So, because she was not alarmed, I am not alarmed and instead will just go with the flow as I have been. Today I started experiencing similar tingling in my left hand and forearm. No....not a heart attack people.....lol

Let's see....what else? Oh yes, I have a follow with Dr. Hammond on June 10th. I'll have lab work done to check my blood counts and consult with Dr. Hammond and find out what my next steps are.

Thanks again to all of you for your kindness and support. It has helped me tremendously through a long journey that has gone by very quickly.

Love, Doris

Update

It's been a rough holiday weekend and this entry will be short.

My Uncle - my favorite Uncle who was also my Godfather - passed away on Saturday and his service was today.

I traveled with my mom, two sisters and brother down to Massachusetts. It was a long day.

About a month ago I started having tingling in my toes and I though it was related to wearing flip flops for the first time in the warm weather. Well....that tingling has now turned to numbness and has traveled all the way up to the arch in both feet. I'm calling the Oncologist's office in the morning.

I'll update again soon.

The chemo defense?

Can I say..."But Officer....the Chemo Made Me Do It"??????

After Jake called to say good night, I grabbed the phone and began to carry out my plan....I'm so embarassed.....but like the Twinkie Defense, I will call this the Chemo Defense!!!

First I called Papa Gino's all the way in Dover. They said "20 minutes" so I headed out right away so as not to have a cold pizza. From there.....(must I admit??? is this confessional????)...I drove over to Friendly's and got a Super Size Fudge Brownie Sundae......

I am sooooooo full. But they were cravings I could not overcome and finally caved in! I can at least say with some dignity that I have leftovers!!!

Well, needless to say, my side effects are mostly evolving around being unbelievably tired and having tummy troubles as well as the usual loss of taste.

This week has not been without its difficulties and I find myself now realizing that as I move forward....I may face a great deal of loss. Please remember....tell those you love or care about how much they mean and how they have touched your life.

My friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances who read this blog --- I thank you for caring enough to use this blog as a way to keep up on my progress. Your comments, emails, cards, phone calls.....I do not have the words to define my appreciation. I love you all.

Thanks again for checking in.
Doris

All done!

I received my last chemo tratement today. I had to be there for 8:20 and I was out at 1:30. It went well. I didn't sleep as much this time, but instead would doze and wake and just kinda' absorb the moment. So many thoughts and feelings --- some good, some bad. I'm relieved, I'm confused, I'm anxious, I'm hopeful.

Tomorrow I go in for 10:30 for my Neulasta shot, my mom is going to go with me.

My son.....is just the most amazing little guy. They are doing a project in his kindergarten class where they are hatching baby chicks in an incubator. Today during their lunch one of them hatched from his shell. He said that Mrs. Lundergan saw it happening and all the kids watched and cheered the chick on while it emerged from it's egg. And my son says "mommy I saw it's egg-tooth!" he was SO excited. I love to see how happy and intrigued he is with school.

While we were on the phone tonight (he called me from his dad's to say goodnight) I said "Guess what buddy?" and he said "What????!!!!" and I said "Mommy had her last dose of medicine today, I'm all done and my hair will start coming back!" he was so happy and excited. And he even told me that when I'm tired and he is with me that it's ok that we go to bed early. What a sweety! Of course, that is much easier said then done, but it's the thought that counts!!

I was speaking with a relatively new friend tonight who asked what my ex is like - as in, was he helpful with Jake and supportive of me during this time. My response, with no hesitation was "My ex is a wonderful man. If he wasn't, I would not have married him."

Thanks for checking in. I have the predictable after-chemo headache so I'm heading to bed to relax.

p.s. The P.A. at Dr. Hammond's office thinks it will take 6 to 8 weeks for the infection from the port to clear up but that it is looking better.

Doris

Countdown...

As I reflect on the past 5 months, I realize I have been through a great deal in a very short period of time. And I think I've handled things better then anticipated. And I guess I can say I'm feeling some pride for that. Admittedly however, my upcoming treatment leads me to feel both excited and anxious. I guess because....since January 17th, I have known what is happening next...what the next step would be...where I was headed. After Tuesdays treatment -- my last treatment -- what's next? I know I will begin hormone therapy, but I don't know what that really consists of and I don't know what is after that or with that or along with that. I will find out on Tuesday when I hit them with questions prior to chemo.

I'm so tired. I look forward to snapping out of this.

Doris

Warning - this one is kinda' gross....

Ok, first I have to apologize because evidently "suck" is my new favorite word. And....today sucked.

Work was wicked busy and I LOVE that. But alas I had to leave to make my 1:05 appointment with the Oncology Office.

As usual (they're so efficient) I didn't have to wait long. However, when I got in the lab to have blood drawn, the lab tech couldn't get any blood from my hand. Well....I said "I don't know how you do things...but how about here?" and I pointed at the veins on my wrist (picture your hand palm up). I had some veins that looked good. So, she agreed and said it wouldn't be pleasant and I said "go for it."

Let me back up and say that when she was wiggling the needle around in my hand....I kinda' looked which isn't my nature...and I got lightheaded.

Anyway, sticking the needle in my wrist was...OUCH!..painful. And I tried to regulate my breathing which did not go well. When she was done (and I must say, she was so kind and supportive), I told her I wasn't doing well and she asked questions and I said "yes" the room is spinning and "yes" I'm going to throw up. Which I promptly did. And might I say I've never seen someone grab a garbage pail so fast in my life. Anyway, I believe I blacked out at that point. Once they got me cleaned up and my vitals were ok, they took me back to one of the exam rooms. Well...here's the bad part....Tracy the nurse mistook today's appointment for my 4th chemo treatment and said that THAT is why she asked the tech to take the blood from my hand and not from the stellar vein in the bend of my elbow that is generally used. So once I clarified that with her, she couldn't stop apologizing.

Let's see....then what?...well the Physician's Assistant came in and went over the basic questions with me and Tracy had told me that again my blood counts were great. I showed the P.A. the red area of skin on my chest and she paged Dr. Palladino. They were able to touch base and decided that yes, I have a skin infection and 'vessel' infection from the port and now I'm on antibiotics.

Because I was so exhausted (and was wearing clothing that wreaked of vomit) I headed home, called my mom and asked her to entertain Jake a little while longer so that I could lay down. I took a nap, felt no better, headed to mom's where she had fixed a great dinner for us and then Jake and I played pass outside for a little while before heading home. Now we're home and it's almost his bedtime which will also be my bedtime tonight.

"Cumulative Side Effects"....they're kicking my butt.....so although it is my last treatment next week, I fear how it is going to effect me.

Ok....haven't written about this yet, but I think I can now. I have a co-worker (for her privacy I won't name her) who is now living what has become my biggest fear --- she found a lump last month. About a year after finishing her chemo. She will have to go through another round of treatments. Ok...I guess I'm not ready to talk about this yet. Boy, life has really changed.

Thanks for checking in.
D--

Side effects suck. Sorry, but they do.

Let's see....nose bleeds....dry skin...headaches....tired...tired...tired.

This time they are all sticking around whereas in the past they were gone in about 2 weeks.
Final treatment is next Tuesday. Then I will work to bounce back.

I have a follow up with Dr. Hammond tomorrow to have bloodwork done. I'll have him check out my chest (yes chest, not breasts) because there is a red patch on my skin where the VAD port was beneath it. The area is very warm and the tissue is hard - almost feels as though the catheter is still in there. So of course (knowing my luck) I am assuming there is something wrong.

I am depressed lately. I think the side effects are taking their toll on me. Just anxious to get past this.

Thanks for checking in.
Doris

Update

The VAD port came out yesterday and the worst part of the whole thing was the injection of the local. But the process was relatively quick and Sue LaFlamme, Dr. Marble's Medical Assistant even came to hold my hand which was pretty cool. What an awesome staff!!!

So.....tonight I'm tired....but...it's like the 'normal' tired of a long day. Not the fatigued tired of a chemo patient, so that makes me happy - yes I know it sounds weird.

Thanks for checking in.
Doris

The Reader's Digest Condensed Version.

Tommorow I'm going to Dr. Palladino's office to have my VAD port removed. They suspect an infection, so it's gotta come out.

I'm exhausted....bitchy....can't concentrate...my skin is dry...one treatment left. One treatment left.......(insert clicking of Dorothy's ruby slippers here).....one treatment left......

Doris

Just a quick note

Most of you know that I don't 'mince words' when it comes to my feelings. So I'll tell you right now, that this week has been the most difficult for me since the mastectomy. I am weak, exhausted, sick to my stomach....achey. My forearms are actually sore from just typing this entry.

So, I got Jake to bed and I'm heading to bed myself. My mom has been wonderful and has been keeping Jake occupied for me while I try to rest.

What is worse? The illness....or the treatment? Thank God I only have one left. Thank God.

Doris

Cumulative Side Effects

Hi everyone - I'm not bouncing back as quickly from the third treatment. Very tired and headachey and generally crabby (just ask my mom!).

I am pretty bruised up from the blood draw they had to do from my hand and the chemo which was run through an I.V. in my forearm.

I'm heading to bed. Can't seem to sleep --- day or night. Just exhausted. Please pass some good thoughts my way.

Love,
Doris