My first blog...continued...

Ok - hi there - I'm Doris.
I'm 40, a divorced mom of a way-cool 6 year old son.

Here's my story....

About 2 months ago I noticed an "indentation" in my left breast. I found it 'odd' but did not think "the worst."

January 7th I saw my primary care physician Amy Coombs at Whole Life Health in Portsmouth. She did an exam and said she found something. A lump. A bump. Something.

January 17th I went to Women's Life Imaging in Somersworth for a mammogram and ultrasound. Was that the beginning of the end? It sure felt like it. Here's how it went:

Mammogram -- ouch (the 'lump' hurt!!!);
I sit in the waiting room holding on to my johnny for dear life so as not to flash any of the other women in the waiting area.
An ultrasound tech greets me and takes me to the next room for an ultrasound. I should have realized something was up.....she was vague and she told me that "the doctor" would be performing the ultrasound. A few moments later Dr. Marshall came in and introduced herself and got right to the work at hand. There was no sugar coating with this woman. She immediately started marking measurements on the ultrasounds and I asked if there was something there and she told me point blank that she would talk to me when she was done. I looked up at the screen and saw "IT"......one of three lumps that she detected.

When she was done she held my hand and told me I had breast cancer. I'm not so sure she should have done that. I mean.....was she God? She was playing God. Because someone of lessor faculties may have just gone home and shot themselves in the head or something. Without the proper tests, I should have remained calm. Instead, I was overrun by fear. This "doctor" made me think I was dying. She even said...nevermind...I don't want to go there.

So, on January 18th I saw Dr. Diane Palladino at the Exeter Hospital. She was wonderful, her staff was wonderful. I was with her for a few hours that day as she talked to me, asked questions of me, did an exam, then an ultrasound and then right on the spot she performed the necessary biopsies.

My sister's mother-in-law came with me. She's a rock. Both knowledgeable and calm. It was very helpful to have her there as a second set of ears so to speak, because as things went along, I found myself zoning out and having to ask her to repeat things.

Monday was a holiday - Civil Right's Day. I spent the three day weekend in a trance. On Tuesday I went back to Dr. Palladino and got my test results -- "Malignant Invasive Ductal Carcinoma." Two weeks ago I did not know what that was --- now I know that I have it and that 80% of those women diagnosed with 'breast cancer' have the same diagnosis.

So....let's see...where has it gone from there? Everything has been fast paced...CT Scan, Bone Scan and today a Breast MRI (yup, on a Sunday) that was hell. The purpose of these tests is to make sure the cancer is not in any other part of my body. Scared? Damn straight I am. Tomorrow I will go to work for a few hours and then return with my friend Tommie to the Multi-Disciplinary Breast Clinic at Exeter Hospital. Oh yeah - I also met with Dr. Kim Marble, a plastic surgeon, to discuss lumpectomies, mastectomies, implants and reductions. So yeah, it's been a busy week.

I guess that's it for this entry. I need to get some rest.

My best to you,
Doris