...this time last year I was knee-deep in chemo treatments. My life seemed to be turned upside down. But my friends, co-workers and family stood by me and rallied with me to get where I am today.
The thing is....I keep trying to figure out..."How do you thank people for their gifts?"...."How do you thank people for their emails, cards, phone calls and prayers?" How do you let people know that they were your strength when you had none of your own?
I want to help. I want to contribute. I want to be able to offer support and advice to others who have been diagnosed with or affected by cancer.
If I can help any one in any way - please reach out. And if you know someone who could use support or advice, please give them my contact information.
Words can not express how much you all helped me.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The week from hell...
I'm having a tough week. Migraines are back with a vengance. Neck pain and jaw and ear pain as well. I'm seeing my Primary Care Physician on the 30th - hoping she can help me. I need changes. There are definitely some new/recent changes in bahavior that may be contributing to the migraines:
1. I started drinking Diet Coke again after having "quit" it for.....years;
2. I started using Sweet n' Low again instead of sugar.
Who knows. All I do know is that I am proud of myself for reaching out to people this week and unloading my feelings instead of keeping them bottled up inside. This is a huge step for me.
My co-worker and friend Dawn is in Beth-Israel Hospital in Boston. Please say a prayer for Dawn. She underwent some surgery and has cancer of the pancreas. Dawn is a tough cookie - but even the toughest can't go it alone.
My son has had an incredible week with his daycare buddies. They have taken day trips every day and he comes home exhausted. Ah to be a kid again!!
I'm looking forward to the warmer weather this weekend. We're going to spend some time at Grammies and on Sunday we are going with my friend Nora on a nature walk. Jake is looking forward to the weekend!
My friend Kim's dog ran away. Casey will be gone 4 weeks tomorrow. I feel so sad for her and her family. He is a beautiful yellow lab and no one has found him. I just keep hoping he will someday just reappear and walk up her driveway.
My friend Charlotte had some outpatient reconstruction surgery today. We were able to talk for a little while tonight. She sounds great.
I think that's it for this entry. Thanks for checking in on me :-)
Doris
1. I started drinking Diet Coke again after having "quit" it for.....years;
2. I started using Sweet n' Low again instead of sugar.
Who knows. All I do know is that I am proud of myself for reaching out to people this week and unloading my feelings instead of keeping them bottled up inside. This is a huge step for me.
My co-worker and friend Dawn is in Beth-Israel Hospital in Boston. Please say a prayer for Dawn. She underwent some surgery and has cancer of the pancreas. Dawn is a tough cookie - but even the toughest can't go it alone.
My son has had an incredible week with his daycare buddies. They have taken day trips every day and he comes home exhausted. Ah to be a kid again!!
I'm looking forward to the warmer weather this weekend. We're going to spend some time at Grammies and on Sunday we are going with my friend Nora on a nature walk. Jake is looking forward to the weekend!
My friend Kim's dog ran away. Casey will be gone 4 weeks tomorrow. I feel so sad for her and her family. He is a beautiful yellow lab and no one has found him. I just keep hoping he will someday just reappear and walk up her driveway.
My friend Charlotte had some outpatient reconstruction surgery today. We were able to talk for a little while tonight. She sounds great.
I think that's it for this entry. Thanks for checking in on me :-)
Doris
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Easter, etc.
Nora was right - If I don't get these thoughts, feelings and experiences on my blog soon, I will forget them.
Easter morning...Jake is up at 5:45 a.m. and comes in my room and says "Mommy I can't sleep." He tries for all of about 3 minutes to sleep in my bed and then says "Mommy it's time to get up." I begrudgingly crawl out of bed and he says "You go first and you can tell me if the Easter Bunny left me anything ok?" I giggle at this statement and say "Ok buddy, let's go." Needless to say, the Easter Bunny and the Easter Bunny's Mom overdid it a bit. He even said "Woah...I didn't think I'd get much 'cuz I don't think I've been that good." What a kid!!! lol
Our Easter was awesome. My mom came over in the morning and then my whole family got together at my sister's for dinner and an afternoon of games, treasure hunt and quality time. The day was sunny but very windy. We spent a lot of time outside despite the cold temps. We all had a good case of windburn on our faces by the end of the day. Jake has a new found appreciation for moisturizer. lol
I turned 42 last week. April 15th. It was a great day. A great balance between work and home and friends and life in general. During the afternoon I found myself reflecting on things. I may share those thoughts eventually, but right now I'm just going to let them bumble around in my head a little while longer.
A family friend was at our Easter gathering. She and her husband have been an integral part of the Pigeon family for ...wow...for as long as I can remember. She has seen me in many different phases of my life. She made a profound comment during the gathering....it has really stuck with me. She said that this gathering reminded her of our many in the past. But this time we're the old foagies....and boy did that make me think. I mean...damn...she's right. We were now the ones sitting back watching the younger generation run and play and be crazy. We sat back and watched and laughed. But not for long. During "tug-a-war" we participated. And although my back still hurts a week later, at least for that brief moment I felt young again.
Today is Sunday. Yesterday I met a co-worker for breakfast and we had a great time. It was a really nice change of pace. In the afternoon I began "cleaning" - I put this in quotes because...well...it was yet another one of my feable attempts to get my apartment (my life?) in some sort of order.
Today my mom and I traveled to Chichester to Dominick's Restaurant for breakfast. It was yummy and again - a nice change from the ordinary.
So I returned home and have continued the "cleaning" escapade....maybe I'll complete some portion of it and feel a degree of accomplishment - who knows.
Some might read this entry and think I'm depressed. Fear not - I feel great. I mean...as great as I can feel being overweight and having a headache and wanting to take a nap. I have found that because I'm around people all day long, all week long at work, that when I have time to myself, I relish it. No more moping around or feeling sorry for myself when I am alone --- instead I watch a movie that I could not watch when Jake is with me (LOVE scary movies!!) and I read a lot. Plus, when Jake is here my focus is on him, so I tend to let laundry and stuff pile up until I'm alone again. I don't ever want Jake to say "My mommy couldn't play with me this weekend because she was cleaning the apartment."
Anyway I'm thinking that's about it at this point. I have my windows open and the shades pulled apart to enjoy this beautiful day. Not many people online today, so I'm thinking they are enjoying the weather as well!
Thank you for checking in.
Doris
Easter morning...Jake is up at 5:45 a.m. and comes in my room and says "Mommy I can't sleep." He tries for all of about 3 minutes to sleep in my bed and then says "Mommy it's time to get up." I begrudgingly crawl out of bed and he says "You go first and you can tell me if the Easter Bunny left me anything ok?" I giggle at this statement and say "Ok buddy, let's go." Needless to say, the Easter Bunny and the Easter Bunny's Mom overdid it a bit. He even said "Woah...I didn't think I'd get much 'cuz I don't think I've been that good." What a kid!!! lol
Our Easter was awesome. My mom came over in the morning and then my whole family got together at my sister's for dinner and an afternoon of games, treasure hunt and quality time. The day was sunny but very windy. We spent a lot of time outside despite the cold temps. We all had a good case of windburn on our faces by the end of the day. Jake has a new found appreciation for moisturizer. lol
I turned 42 last week. April 15th. It was a great day. A great balance between work and home and friends and life in general. During the afternoon I found myself reflecting on things. I may share those thoughts eventually, but right now I'm just going to let them bumble around in my head a little while longer.
A family friend was at our Easter gathering. She and her husband have been an integral part of the Pigeon family for ...wow...for as long as I can remember. She has seen me in many different phases of my life. She made a profound comment during the gathering....it has really stuck with me. She said that this gathering reminded her of our many in the past. But this time we're the old foagies....and boy did that make me think. I mean...damn...she's right. We were now the ones sitting back watching the younger generation run and play and be crazy. We sat back and watched and laughed. But not for long. During "tug-a-war" we participated. And although my back still hurts a week later, at least for that brief moment I felt young again.
Today is Sunday. Yesterday I met a co-worker for breakfast and we had a great time. It was a really nice change of pace. In the afternoon I began "cleaning" - I put this in quotes because...well...it was yet another one of my feable attempts to get my apartment (my life?) in some sort of order.
Today my mom and I traveled to Chichester to Dominick's Restaurant for breakfast. It was yummy and again - a nice change from the ordinary.
So I returned home and have continued the "cleaning" escapade....maybe I'll complete some portion of it and feel a degree of accomplishment - who knows.
Some might read this entry and think I'm depressed. Fear not - I feel great. I mean...as great as I can feel being overweight and having a headache and wanting to take a nap. I have found that because I'm around people all day long, all week long at work, that when I have time to myself, I relish it. No more moping around or feeling sorry for myself when I am alone --- instead I watch a movie that I could not watch when Jake is with me (LOVE scary movies!!) and I read a lot. Plus, when Jake is here my focus is on him, so I tend to let laundry and stuff pile up until I'm alone again. I don't ever want Jake to say "My mommy couldn't play with me this weekend because she was cleaning the apartment."
Anyway I'm thinking that's about it at this point. I have my windows open and the shades pulled apart to enjoy this beautiful day. Not many people online today, so I'm thinking they are enjoying the weather as well!
Thank you for checking in.
Doris
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Please pray for my co-workers.
Honey Cascio is now in hospice care. Please say a prayer for her and her family.
Ann M. is having a very difficult time with chemo. Please say a prayer for her and her family.
Life is too damned short. And sometimes, seems so very unfair.
Ann M. is having a very difficult time with chemo. Please say a prayer for her and her family.
Life is too damned short. And sometimes, seems so very unfair.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The definition of "compassion":
Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
So about this whole "compassion" thing...I am learning this word. I am experiencing this word. I am sensitive to this word.
When people we love are struck by illness, horrible circumstance...victims...we feel compassion for them because we love them.
What I learned this week (Thank you Sue D.) is that compassion is for everyone. EVERYONE. Not just those who are directly affected by a tragedy. Compassion should be felt on a more human level then that. I now feel great compassion for anyone on this Earth who is diagnosed with cancer. It does not matter what your social status is. Or how much money you earn. Or who you know. Am I now an "expert" on cancer and treatment? NO. Have I been there? Did I experience something that 1 in 9 women should NEVER have to experience? YES. Do I want to help others - let them know that it's ok to feel whatever emotions they are feeling and to make sure they know that there is light at the other end of the tunnel? You're damned right I do.
You do not even have to like someone to feel compassion. You don't even have to know them....to feel compassion.
We all have our own ways of dealing with stress, tragedy, trials and tribulations. Just as we all have our own ways of celebrating success and positive, happy events.
Maybe if more people experienced the "emotion" of compassion....maybe the world wouldn't be so damned scary. Who knows. What I am saying is that experiences that took place this week in my life have changed me. For the better. I thank God for that. I thank God for the people in my life who have taught me so very much about myself. I thank God that during the toughest times in my life I have had and will continue to have people to lean on. People to cry with. People to laugh with. People to remind me where I've been and people to let me forget it as well.
I hope that tonight's post makes anyone reading this stop and think. If not - that's ok too. Maybe some day something will cross your mind and you'll say "Ohhh that's what Doris meant in her blog."
Thanks for checking in. And please -- if you know someone who has been diagnosed who would like to speak with a survivor I am here to help in any way I can.
Good night.
So about this whole "compassion" thing...I am learning this word. I am experiencing this word. I am sensitive to this word.
When people we love are struck by illness, horrible circumstance...victims...we feel compassion for them because we love them.
What I learned this week (Thank you Sue D.) is that compassion is for everyone. EVERYONE. Not just those who are directly affected by a tragedy. Compassion should be felt on a more human level then that. I now feel great compassion for anyone on this Earth who is diagnosed with cancer. It does not matter what your social status is. Or how much money you earn. Or who you know. Am I now an "expert" on cancer and treatment? NO. Have I been there? Did I experience something that 1 in 9 women should NEVER have to experience? YES. Do I want to help others - let them know that it's ok to feel whatever emotions they are feeling and to make sure they know that there is light at the other end of the tunnel? You're damned right I do.
You do not even have to like someone to feel compassion. You don't even have to know them....to feel compassion.
We all have our own ways of dealing with stress, tragedy, trials and tribulations. Just as we all have our own ways of celebrating success and positive, happy events.
Maybe if more people experienced the "emotion" of compassion....maybe the world wouldn't be so damned scary. Who knows. What I am saying is that experiences that took place this week in my life have changed me. For the better. I thank God for that. I thank God for the people in my life who have taught me so very much about myself. I thank God that during the toughest times in my life I have had and will continue to have people to lean on. People to cry with. People to laugh with. People to remind me where I've been and people to let me forget it as well.
I hope that tonight's post makes anyone reading this stop and think. If not - that's ok too. Maybe some day something will cross your mind and you'll say "Ohhh that's what Doris meant in her blog."
Thanks for checking in. And please -- if you know someone who has been diagnosed who would like to speak with a survivor I am here to help in any way I can.
Good night.
Compassion
This is a powerful, powerful word. So powerful that I haven't thought of much else in the past 24 hours. So I've decided to blog about it.
Right now I have to grab a shower and bring Jake to Grammy's and go to a couple of meetings.
Tonight I will blog about this and my recent experiences.
Please pray for Mrs. Honey Cascio (and her family) who is now bedridden and requiring hospice care.
Please pray for Ann M. who is now facing an arduous chemotherapy regimen.
Please pray for all the families, friends and strangers who are touched by cancer.
Thank you.
Right now I have to grab a shower and bring Jake to Grammy's and go to a couple of meetings.
Tonight I will blog about this and my recent experiences.
Please pray for Mrs. Honey Cascio (and her family) who is now bedridden and requiring hospice care.
Please pray for Ann M. who is now facing an arduous chemotherapy regimen.
Please pray for all the families, friends and strangers who are touched by cancer.
Thank you.
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